Find the Joy my Old Friend

Dear Sister Knowitall,

We have been friends for a long time . The cards I have dealt are not fair.  Since my mom and dad passed it is just the last straw. I don't even know how to make rhyme nor reason out of my life or where to go from here. I hope you have some aid for an old friend. 

Hello  Dear Friend,

I so wish I could spend some time with you. You are an amazing talent and have truly been dealt 
some hard knocks.  I know one thing for certain.  Life is not certain or even fair.  I do believe with all my being that in the hand we are dealt we can choose to see the good cards and throw out the bad cards then find what we have to be grateful for in those cards.  Sorry for the card reference. I cannot say that I understand how you feel. I can say that I understand deep heart pain. I've been knocked down so many times and it takes time but I do get back up. I have to.  I wasn't born to live in misery and I won't do it. Happiness is a choice. It just is!

We have a choice to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect and accept and love ourselves as we are. There is good all around us every day. We can literally smile at something every hour.  Find the joy and laughter it is there. I promise.  When you get knocked down. Sit with it  a minute well longer than a minute but go ahead and  cry it out . There is a lot of science around tears and healing the heart.  You have to be allowed to mourn any situation especially the loss of your parents.  Then remember how much they loved you and ask yourself would they want you to be sad and in pain.  Once you are ready then  Get up. Shake it off, just get up that is  start.   This message is the first one I have read from you that sounds close to self acceptance.  You are truly a blessed man.  Your talents amaze me.  Find your joy my old friend. 

In Pursuit of Happiness

by Cindy Pitts Gilbert for April 2018 Gwinnett Citizen 

Dear Sister Knowitall,
Is the pursuit of happiness just that always something we are pursuing and never achieving?  I want to be happy, but life just keeps getting in the way.  Any words of wisdom? 
Sincerely; Downward Smile

Dear Downward Smile,
First, let me start by saying that you should start with turning that downward smile into an upward grin.  There is a physical change that occurs when you smile and smiling is contagious.  Try smiling to a complete stranger as you walk through a store you will be surprised how many smiles you get back.  I can tell you that the old saying, “fake it till you make it,” applies here.  When you put on a happy face, it can be the beginning of a whole new you.  In the meantime, I am going to share some of my favorite happiness sayings I have applied to my own life over the years. I hope some of them help you as they have helped me.

#1. Do what you can with what you have where you are.  Everyone is doing the best with the circumstances they have been given.

#2. Overthinking is the biggest cause of unhappiness.

#3. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

#4. Happiness isn’t having what you want; it is wanting what you have.

#5. Stop letting “It” bother you, just let it go.

#6. Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent to kick them out.

#7. Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty. It’s an act of self-care

#8. Walk yourself out of a bad mood. Even 10 minutes immediately increases brain chemistry to increase happiness.

#9. No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side.

#10.  #HappinessHabitsHacks

• Wake up early and make your bed every day.
• Ignore nonsense.
• Talk Less.
• Learn New Skills.
• Help Less Fortunate.
• Watch funny movies. Laugh- It is a great internal belly massage.
• Yawn, It releases cortisol (stress hormone).
• Look at pictures and videos of babies and puppies. It increases Oxytocin (relaxation/love hormone). 

Published: 2018-04-14 19:15