Stop, Worrying About What Others Think About You! LET IT GO

By Cindy Pitts Gilbert published, February 11, 2019

Dear Sister Knowitall,

You know that quote,  “What other people think of me is none of my business.”  What does that really mean.   I worry all the time what other people think of me?  I wish I could just be sure that other people aren’t talking about me behind my back.  Sincerely, Gossiped Girl

Dear Gossiped Girl,

Such a great quote isn’t it?   “What other people think of me is none of my business.”  So here is what it means to me.  We all want people to like us and when they don’t for whatever reason, we get our feelings hurt.  Why is it that we want to know something that will definitely hurt our feelings.   It is human nature to be liked. We all want to be liked.  The bottom line is that personalities clash for one reason or another and no matter how hard we try sometimes we don’t like people and sometimes they don’t like us.  So, why is it so important to find out WHY they don’t like us.  If you look at it honestly, when you aren’t fond of a personality you avoid them and do everything you can to not come right out and say look, I don’t like you and don’t want to be around you.   We all want to avoid out right hurting someone’s feelings even when we really don’t like them. 

I am not talking about those who we know we hurt or have hurt us.  There are certain people who have hurt you or whom you have hurt, for those folks you get it why the relationship may be  damaged beyond repair.  You or they  have crossed a line of some kind and the relationship is damaged or in some cases broken beyond repair.  It may be that you have been betrayed or done something to betray another. Sometimes it is a misunderstanding, sometimes on both parts or just one party misunderstands. 

Yet, the fact still remains that we all want to be liked and when you aren’t you think you want to know why.  The truth of the matter is that you don’t really want to know.  Your ego does.  Your ego is the part of your personality that wants everyone to like us. It is the child inside that wants what it wants. It is our heart that doesn’t want to know and our brain that over analyzes the situation trying to make both the ego and the heart happy.   Honestly, our hearts truly don’t want to know and it is really not healthy for us to know.  Often times, people are just not suited for each other, it is a rejection that we really just don’t need to know about.  So, when you think you want to know why someone doesn't like you just change your mindset and say, "What other people think of me is none of my business."  Tell your ego to let it go.  Tell your brain to inform your ego not to try to find out and to give your heart a break, keep it sound and completely oblivious to other people’s opinions of you.  You will be able to access so much more success for yourself if you stop worrying all the time what everyone thinks. 

You have to know what is in your own heart at the end of the day.  It is you that has to live with yourself and your choices.  If you are truly trying to be a better person everyday then let go of other people’s opinions.  If you are completely oblivious to what you are doing to alienate people and you find yourself in a lonely place with no one to talk to,  then perhaps it is time to do  some major self reflection and maybe do some super detective work to find out what you are doing that rubs the majority the wrong way.  If you have a great support group of friends and they love you just as you are, then truly learn to let go of the need to be loved by the masses.   It really is okay if you don’t click with some folks and they don’t click with you.   Beating yourself up about it is not going to make them love you, neither is trying to convince them how wonderful you truly are.  They are the ones missing out on all your greatness.   

There is another side of the coin too. What happens when your heart and not your ego are the reason you think you have to know.   In that case reach out.  Ask what you might have done to offend or hurt someone. Go directly to the party you think is feeling wronged by you.  If you get no resolution. You know that when all is said… or not said and done that you have tried to rectify the situation and the other person is not willing or ready to open up.  In that case, again let it go and move on.  It really isn’t any of your business if you unintentionally hurt someone and they can’t come to you to give you a chance to rectify the situation.  You have to again self reflect and if you are truly unaware of what it was and they don’t want to share.  You have to let it go or it will eat away at you.  Forgive yourself if they can't forgive you or be forgiven.  You have a right to be happy and are not responsible for anyone else’s reaction to what you did if it was unintentional especially if you aren't even aware.  I’m not saying be oblivious to your own actions and how they affect others.  That is the last thing I am saying. I am just reminding you that you can only control your actions and your reactions not others.  Dwelling on a situation you cannot change is insanity.  Attempting to make amends can only go so far, if the other party is unwilling to acknowledge you or your attempt to fix the situation.  Everyone is doing the best they can with the circumstances they have been given.  It may not meet your standards but it is a fact nonetheless.  Forgive yourself and do what you can to always be kind.

Hugs
Sister Knowitall 😤

Germs, Preventing the Flu

by Cindy Pitts Gilbert for February 2018 Gwinnett Citizen 

Dear Sister Knowitall,
This year’s outbreak of the flu is really serious and, I worry that my family and I are going to get it... I’d love some help knowing what to do to keep my family safe from getting sick this season. Sincerely, Flu Ninja Mama

picture credit from Safebee.com

 Dear Flu Fightin’ Mama,

That is such a huge question to answer. Short of becoming a germophobe or living on a mountaintop, if you interact with people, getting sick is almost inevitable. There are so many misconceptions about germs and bacteria. Colds and the flu along with various stomach bugs are viruses. The flu is airborne so being around someone with the flu increases your chances of getting it. The flu can also live on a hard surface for 24 hours but on a tissue for only 15 minutes. So it would make sense for anyone with the flu to stay away from other people, use tissues when you sneeze or a cough. Cover your mouth and nose wash hands before you touch anything. Please stay home. Whatever is waiting at work can wait. 

There are preventions that can help us fend against those mean little monsters that make us sick.

Wash your hands with normal soap and water often, Sing Happy Birthday all the way through 1 verse. Keep your hands away from your mouth. Why, because in between washing your hands there are more germs and you are constantly touching them. Consider investing in a box of gloves or keep napkins in the car. Make a hand sanitizer spray using diluted essential oils safe for the skin.

Here are some high germ-infested places:
• The gas pump, ATM and Credit Card machines the checkout counter. 
• Your cell phone, your glasses, You touch stuff then you touch them. 
• The phone at the office and your home phone 
• The pen at the pharmacy and doctors office how many sick people touched it before you got there
• The salt and pepper shakers on the table at a restaurant
• The grocery store shopping cart. 
• The bottom of our purse, the bottoms of your shoes. When was the last time you sanitized them? Many families have a take off your shoes at the door policy. 
• Your gloves and coat When was the last time you washed them or at least sprayed the gloves with some antibacterial essential oil or other natural cleaners. 
• Your toothbrush, the bathroom light switch the toilet handle the door handle the sink handles.

Scents of the Season

by Cindy Pitts Gilbert December 2017 Gwinnett Citizen

Dear Sister Knowitall,
I am looking for natural alternatives for my home for the holidays I want to avoid candles and store-bought scents if possible. Can you help? ~ Nosey Nelda Mistletoe

Dear Nosey Nelda,
There are so many alternatives to artificial scents for the Holidays. Here are a few simple scents of the Season;

Easy Hot Apple Cider 
Place apples in a large stockpot and add enough water cover by at least 2 inches. Stir in sugar, cinnamon, and allspice. Bring to a boil. Boil, uncovered, for 1 hour. Strain apple mixture though a fine mesh sieve. Discard solids. Drain cider again though a cheesecloth-lined sieve. Serve hot or cold.

Homemade Christmas Potpourri 
1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries OR 
1/2 cup dried cranberries. 
2-3 cinnamon sticks crushed. 
1-2 star anise optional.
1 tablespoon cardamom crushed. 
2 teaspoons whole cloves.
1/4 cup candied ginger.
1 vanilla bean halved lengthwise. 
1 fresh pine or 1 sprig rosemary.

Simmering Pot 
Get a pot of water simmering on the stove or the small, inexpensive simmering crock pots. Drop in a combination of natural aromatics like cinnamon stick, pine, orange peel, or cloves. 

Real Beeswax Candles 
Few things smell as heavenly as beeswax, with its potent honey scent. It’s a smell that never loses its charm and provides excellent alternative to the artificial candles. 

Cinnamon 
Few things bring out the warmth and comfort of the Christmas season like the smell of cinnamon: try in mulled cider or hot chocolate 

Orange and Cloves 
The delicious combination of orange to make pomanders to set out in bowls at Christmas. Pre-punch the holes in the orange with an awl or knitting needle, and the cloves should go right in. 

Evergreen 
Evergreen Garland or Wreaths. Nothing says Christmas like the smell of fresh pines in wreaths and swags as well as fresh-cut trees. Peppermint Use Dried Peppermint to make peppermint tea. This makes a great alternative to candy canes 

Make a Liquid Candle 
Create a custom-scented candle with a mason jar, lantern wick, and any oil that burns—even the olive oil. Add your favorite aromatics, like vanilla bean, cinnamon, clove, pinecones, or oranges. More cost-effective than a wax candle, it will both look decorative and smell delicious.

Christmas with Essential Oils Many of these scents can be mixed and diffused or sprinkled on pinecones or clay balls or even potpourri: 

Pine, Cinnamon, Peppermint, Frankincense, Myrrh, Clove, Sweet Orange, Nutmeg, Anise, Sweet Ginger, Cedarwood. 

All of these are a pleasant scents to diffuse throughout the entire winter season to make your home feel like a cozy and inviting retreat from the harsh cold weather outside. 

Don’t Drink the Snake Oil

By Cindy Pitts Gilbert   September 2017 

Dear Sister Knowitall
Help me, I don’t know where to start? There is just too many options and ways to be healthy I don’t know what do choose.  It seems like every other day there is a new book or fad to try to be healthy.  I know I should eat right.  What is right? Hundreds of diets and fads. I try to do the right thing  for us but sometimes the cookies are just too yummy to pass up and I get so busy I forget to drink my water and my kids may not always eat a breakfast of champions.  When choosing natural remedies How do you know who’s advice is really helpful and who are the hoaxers? 

Sincerely
Cookie Cravins

 Dear Cookie Cravins

First and foremost,  Stop beating yourself up.  Keep trying and when you falter, quote Scarlett, “Tomorrow is another day.” Stressing about it is just going to raise your cortisol levels and that isn’t good for your health either. You are right, there are so many options out there for natural remedies and unfortunately there are people who prey on your need to feel better or make a loved one feel better. 
There are so many people out there more interested in taking advantage of people than helping  them.  This isn’t new,  Remember the “snake oil”  sold by traveling salesmen that were more alcohol than anything else. Everyone has their own version of “Sister Knowitall,” that family member or friend that seems to have a just the advise you need.  It is hard to know who and what to believe isn’t it? 

Well I’d like to say believe me but the truth is, you have to be your own health advocate. You have to be willing to take control of your health and your families health and keep it simple,  make one change at a time. My motto is show me the research.  When I want to use a product, service or remedy I want to know it will work but I also understand that just like any medicine each individual is different and everything is not right for everyone.  I research something then I try my best to tear it apart. The eternal skeptic.  I try to disprove whatever it is until I convince myself that it is the right answer and then and only then do I give it a try.   It is like anything else that you study, history, politics, religion,  who to swipe left and who to swipe right. 
Our lives are full of choices. We are ultimately responsible for the choices we make.. I have done the research in many areas of health and wellness for myself and my family and I am always happy and honored to share the results of that research.  Is it right for you? Good Question? Let me know once you have done your own research. I'd love to hear your results.

Dreaded Disease or Just Thirsty?

By: Cindy Gilbert | Dear Sister Knowitall, August 2017

Dear Sister Knowitall,
I’ve been having all these symptoms lately since the weather has gotten warmer. Someone told me to drink more water is that true? ~ Signed Waterworks Wilma

Dear Waterworks Wilma,
Our bodies are 60% water according to the USGS (Water Science School.) The brain and heart are comprised of 73% water. We have ample water in the U.S., yet we deprive ourselves. The old rule of drinking 8 glasses of water a day are gone. Your body needs half of your body weight in ounces of water every day. So if you weigh 130lbs you need to be drinking 65 oz. of water every day. 

If you workout and break a sweat you need to add an extra 8oz, drink a caffeinated or alcoholic beverage add an extra 8oz for every one you consume. Can you drink too much water? The answer is yes. If you drink so much that your urine is completely clear you need to slack off a bit. Your urine actually says a lot about your health. It should be slightly yellow. On the flip side if it is too dark you are dehydrated. How do you know if you are dehydrated? If you are thirsty it’s too late you are already dehydrated. Other symptoms may include:  

• Dry mouth
• Chapped lips
• Hangnails
• Brittle Nails
• Dry brittle hair
• Dry itchy skin
• Achy joints
• Muscle cramps
• Menstrual cramps
• Brain Fog
• Constipation
• Dizziness
• Tired or sleepy
• Urine is low volume
• Headache

It almost sounds like a disease doesn’t it? Here are some tips to help you on your way.

1. Use a cup or bottle with a lid and keep it with you.
2. Get on that scale and tally up that water intake you need per day.
3. Fill up a pitcher with the correct ounces needed per day.
4. If you want filtered water think about buying a gallon instead of water bottles and pour into your own cup bottle. The environment will appreciate it.
5. A gallon of liquid is 128 fluid ounces. Measure it out 1 time.
6. Get a water reminder app on your phone. Or set an hourly reminder to drink water
7. Drink a glass in the am before you do anything else.
8. Keep a bottle by the bed at night
9. Add fruit infusions to make it flavorful
10. Try some of the new flavored sparkling waters to help curb your soda craving.
11. Eat fruits and veggies that are mostly water like watermelon or cucumber.

Cindy Pitts Gilbert is Director of Training for Know It Training for Professional and Personal Development in Gwinnett County. She is also the Home Remedy Guru of the Blog Sister Knowitall: sisterknowitall.blogspot.com. She has been learning natural home remedies after she developed allergic reactions to chemicals in household cleaning products.
Send your questions to: askme@sisterknowitall.com

Sometimes You Have to Save the Pants

 by Cindy Pitts Gilbert, July Issue Gwinnett Citizen Magazine
Dear Sister Knowitall,
What is the difference between a Home Remedy and a Natural Remedy? Aren’t they the same thing?  Signed ~ Remedy Mom Newby

Dear Remedy Mom,
That is such a great question.  People ask me all the time do you have a home remedy for…   I often know a home remedy that isn’t necessarily natural, I prefer all the natural remedies of course, but let’s face it,  we don’t live in a natural world anymore so sometimes, on occasion I do share a home remedy  for a particular problem with the caveat that this is not a “natural” remedy.  Home remedy is simply using household products you are already using for another purpose.

Here is an example of what I mean.  A friend sent me a request recently for a home remedy to remove an ink stain from a pair of pants.  We know that ink isn’t a natural substance and trying to apply natural remedies may just lead to a lot of wasted time and frustration.

I  offered three suggestions starting with the unnatural remedy first, why well it is cheap and I know it works and doesn’t harm your clothes, however  this is not a natural remedy.  
You can remove pen ink from clothing with good ole hair spray.  Hair spray is not natural but will remove pen stains from fabric. Place a paper towel behind the stain on the underside of the fabric.  Surround the stain perimeter with water. This will help keep the stain from spreading.  Spray the fabric and wait 1 to 2 minutes then dab at the stain to remove. Some of the ink will pass into the paper towel. You may have to do this multiple times.  Ink is very stubborn.  The sooner you try to remove the easier it will come out.

I also recommended placing a sponge behind the stain and soak in a mixture of  hydrogen peroxide and baking soda which is a natural remedy. It also may not work if the stain has had time to set or in this case is Sharpie a permanent marker. Another helpful tip;  Do not put the fabric in the dryer or the stain will set.

The last remedy I recommended is a product called Grandma’s Secret Spot Remover, which the description reads;  is environmentally safe, non-toxic safe etc. It works amazing on stains of many kinds and doesn’t hurt fabric.
So to clarify, sometimes a remedy is a home remedy from a household product  that you already use and sometimes it is something created from nature like an essential oil, baking soda or vinegar.  I always prefer the natural remedy whenever possible but am realistic that the world we live in is not so natural and to save the pants the home remedy might be the wiser choice.

By: Cindy Gilbert | Sister Knowitall

Published: 2017-07-31 19:37

Date Modified: 2017-07-31 19:37

Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe

By Cindy Pitts Gilbert - Gwinnett Citizen  October 2016

Dear Sister Knowitall, 

I have a question about natural home remedy safety.  I mean if it is natural, it is safe for my family to use it, right?   

Sincerely, Crunchy Mom Wannabe

Dear  Crunchy Mom Wannabe,

Thank you. I am so very glad you asked this question.  I am actually speaking at a Health Fair later this month about this very topic.  Just because it's natural doesn't necessarily mean it's safe.  I mean think about it. Mold is natural, but I think we all will agree that it is not something we want in our homes or want to breathe.

Peppermint

Did you know that Penicillin was discovered in London in September of 1928, by Dr. Alexander Fleming, a bacteriologist at St. Mary’s Hospital? He returned from a vacation to find that a mold  - “Penicillium notatum” -  had contaminated his Petri dishes containing colonies of Staphylococcus. He was amazed to find that the mold prevented the normal growth of the staphylococci.  He cultivated  more mold to learn that it could be the answer for many infectious diseases.  (Source: pbs.org.).  But we cannot assume that penicillin is safe in all situations.

Many people are allergic to Penicillin, including Sister Knowitall.  I break out in a very itchy  rash if I am given any kind of Penicillin. What works for one does not work for another.  So you see, natural healing is very personal. It is really important for you to find out what is safe for you. Use caution and do your own research in your quest to live a natural life.

Poison Ivy

That brings me to another point.  It is really important to read labels and find out what  the "Natural” label really means. Advertising can be somewhat deceptive; just because a label says something's natural doesn't mean you should put it on your body or in your mouth.

The FDA has not developed a definition for use of the term “natural” or its derivatives. However, the agency has not objected to the use of the term if the food does not contain added color, artificial flavors, or synthetic substances."  (http://www.fda.gov/AboutFDA/Transparency/Basics/ucm214868.htm)

A further read of “Natural” FDA labeling states that the policy was not intended to address food production methods, such as the use of pesticides, thermal technologies, and pasteurization irradiation.  Know what you are buying.

Lastly, let’s talk about essential oil safety.  This is a hot topic for me. This topic is "trending" right now, which is both exciting and dangerous.  I use essential oils daily, I am also a fanatic about essential oil safety. There are  three or four major direct marketing companies that are widely recognized. If you say the words “essential oils”  or “natural,” they will all raise a helping hand high in the air, itching to help with all that ails you.

Essential oils are amazing. When I decided to start making products, it was mainly for gift baskets for family. I didn't want to make a gift that hurt a member of my family or a friend, so I started researching. There are rules and guidelines for using natural products safely.  Just because you can buy essential oils, and just because someone gives you a natural essential oil from a company or a natural product store, doesn't mean it is safe for everyone.  I will give you a few examples, and if you want to hear more come to the Health Fair at which I am speaking later this month.

Rosemary is one of my personal favorite herbs and oils, but if you are pregnant, it could cause contractions. Therefore, it is not recommended for women to put on their skin or even breathe during pregnancy.

Peppermint is often used to  relieve sinus congestion, headaches and  muscle pain. It is in many over-the-counter pain relievers, even toothpaste. Some essential oil users and manufacturers recommend applying it to a cotton swab  in the nose or on the brow bone.  Some people can apply oils directly to the skin, but most cannot. It can cause burning.

Tea Tree is another amazing essential oil; when used properly, it can remove mold, ease yeast, and is a great insect repellent. It can also neutralize the venom of insects, such as bee stings or mosquito and ant bites.  It is not recommended for use on dogs for flea and tick control, as it can cause respiratory distress.  I once saw a very trusting esstial oil user recommended tea tree for  diaper rash, without even a mention about diluting.  Ouch! I almost had a coronary.  Tea tree in a sensitive diaper area is just going to  burn, no matter who uses it.

 Follow safety guidelines: 

•Do a small patch test

•Dilute!

•Do not to use water to remove the oil if it does burn your skin. You should dilute with another carrier oil, such as coconut, olive or almond oil.

One last thought: “natural” is a way of life for me. It takes a lot of research, common sense and caution, but it can be an amazing journey to living a healthy, happy, simpler life.

Come see Sister Knowitall speak more on this topic: 
October 28th at 11:00am
Fall Into Health 9am-1pm  Bethseda Senior Center  225 Bethesda Church Road, Lawrenceville